Upside Down Smile

Yeah, just as the title states. I have an upside down smile. Why? Summer is over for me.
I am going back to work a day early, so that I wont feel as though I am being rushed (read: I will be rushed ALL DAMN WEEK).  As I have mentioned before, I earn a living by being a leader *teacher. Anyone who knows anything about this profession can relate to how I feel at this exact moment. You heart is starting to beat just a bit faster, your dreams at night have started to shift to lesson plans and reading passages versus dreaming about happy hour and a nap at 2pm. You have to remember to do things, like shave your legs, and polish your toes (yup, the kids will ask you what's up with your feet! They really stare at you).

Awhile ago, this time of year always made me nervous. Stage fright is what some would call it. I used to be extremely nervous that first day of school before my kids would walk through the door. True fact: My first year teaching, when my first hour walked in I stared at them for about five minutes straight. No hello, nothing! Just stared. Can you say freaky? I have since gotten a lot better about it. There are some tricks that I use to cope with first day jitters for me as the teacher, and my students. I will talk about them some day here. Its nothing etched in stone, but I have found that if I have a game plan, and if something gets 'effed up, I don't look stupid in front of my kids.

Where was I going with all of this?? Who the hell knows, roll with it...

So, summer is coming to an end. I will have to rely on my DVR. I will have to give up my 2pm naps in the afternoon, I will have to rely on Instagram to see what's going on with my friends and other blogs. On the flip side, I am planning to change up some of topics and lessons, and I am even planning on reading a new novel with the kids. Sounds kind of boring to some people, but this is my bread and butter we are talking about. This is the part of the job that I LOVE. I just hope that this year brings in some moldable (is that a word?) students. Notice I did not say "nice students" or "well behaved". Again, if you are familiar with how this story goes as a teacher, you know that smug ass kids are always right around the corner. You also know that "nice" can mean " I wont cuss you out today"...I will stick with my new word: moldable.

I had a great summer though. I can't even lie about that. I did not document all of my summer on the blog, because I didn't do anything that was THAT exciting. It was just a great time to watch my son grow up, spend some much needed time with his dad. You tend to get caught up in the cycle of work throughout the year, and you take your family for granted. I am going to try my best to not save that for the summer anymore. But to really appreciate what I have throughout the year. I got a lot of rest. I can say that I am ready to take on a new year. And for what I hear, I am glad I took 2pm naps.

Here's to a new year. Bring it. I never back down to a challenge.


* I scratched out leader and wrote teacher. I did this because some days I feel like a leader and some days I just feel like a regular teacher. To further explain that, some teachers feel like babysitters, and they feel like they are not being leaders. That all we are doing is just providing a service for about eight hours a day. There are days you look out to your classes, and you may think "Do you even hear me?" Those are the days that my leader hat falls short. Those are the days that I ask myself why am I doing this? For this amount of money, and all my effort. Those are the days that I feel like a failure. But then, at the the end of the day, I take off both those hats, leader and teacher, and I just go home. Tomorrow, I will try to wear my leader hat the entire day.